What you want to be,
You will be...
Stress or Calm: The Power of 30 Seconds
Through out the day, every minute, many thought arise, triggering emotions.
how many of these thoughts have you gone through in last 24 hours?
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of looking bad
Fear of being harmed
Fear of missing out on life
Fear of poverty
Fear of imperfect
Fear of not mattering
Fear of losing control
Let me ask you to pause and reflect.
All these fears tell us that for celebrations, love and enjoyment to happen, something needs to happen.
Notice the stress, as stress is the expression of these fear (anger, grief, conflict…) – physical tension and system suppression, meaning muscles tightens, heart rate quickens, breathing becomes shallow which slow down digestion and immune responses.
Where as credible, constructive, loving thought leads brain to give better attention, empathy, problem solving, greater flexibility, rational planning and better ability to regulate emotions. And impact of body is slow breathing, reduce muscle tension, easier digestion and recovery.
Here is the 3 good news.
- Slow breathing, relaxed shoulders, softened body relaxes the body and also the brain as it receives the message from the body that threat is lower.
- Changing thought just for a minute or 30 seconds, remembering some happy moments of life, something you love about your relationship, something you love and adore about yourself, interrupts the stress spiral.
- Feeling of contentment, safety and love strengthens constructive pathways over time, making the future optimistic.
Fear has a purpose. It protects us. But when the threat system dominates our day, we need to take the reigns, so When you notice yourself spiralling, don’t immediately try to solve the problem – Pause
- Calm and relax your body and breathe, which will relax your thoughts and brain
- Even for a minute or 30 seconds, bring up a happy memory, feel the joy of it, celebrate it, make the body move, feel it on your face and body, pat yourself and even dance when you can. This will break the stress spiral and also it will become more easy to access calm mind day after day.
Happy day!
Sixteen Hours a Day. Someone is stealing mine and yours too
what I learned about my own mind — and how I am working on it.
Many times I find that events, conversations, situations from the past replays, and turn it over. A short reply or event becomes a small story about who I am, how others are and how the situation is so bad. This is not just a waste of time but also a huge waste of mental and emotional energy.
We get sixteen to eighteen waking hours to enjoy, to work, to connect, to ponder, to relax, to truly live our lives. But research suggests that even up to forty percent of this waking hours goes on autopilot mode. That means mind wandering, drifting into some thoughts.
And, unfortunately, these thoughts are rarely empowering or enjoyable. We tend to dwell in negative thoughts three to five times more than positive ones. We amplify; we create stress, distress, anger, worries, contempt, fear, etc.. in our minds. and we do so by criticising ourselves, others, and even situations. I’m not good enough. They are not good enough. The situation is not good.
When we are in this autopilot mode, we don’t use our full brain. This creates stress. We never get used to it, it never makes us strong but it settles in the nerves, muscles, bones, making us sick over time.
It is very important to notice and acknowledge the discontent and pain and it is a loving act of self-care. But staying there and continually coming back and feeling bad emotions is a pure waste of precious life moments.
Also what we search is what we get. when we criticise ourselves, others and situations. We activate it, and we find more and more reasons to believe it.
To live fully, it is important to move to positive energy and positive thought. To find and work on positive solutions creatively and then move towards calm focused actions.
The key step here is to catch ourselves when we start drifting in this autopilot mode of negative thinking. And we can stop here but the better is to replace it with a positive one and then acknowledge and appreciate what you just did. Because rewards create dopamine, it is an important step in habit formation.
This is the foundation of our well-being, relationships, and performance. So keep working, keep transforming! Enjoy!
Become your dream
Dear friend, dream a dream you love.
A dream when it happens is so fulfilling.
Dream a dream that makes you go “Wow”.
Don’t be shy or scared. Let it talk to you.
A dream that might be meek or scary however it still pulls you towards itself.
Go for it!
Goals may ask for a stroll but a dream will call for a sprint or a marathon.
The calling will be different,
The effort will be different,
The preparation will be different.
And when you will give what it takes…, time, focus, effort, love, and
allow yourself to flow and change with the journey .
Your beliefs will be different,
You will behave different,
You will belong to a different place,
You will befriend different,
You will experience life different and
most importantly YOU WILL BECOME DIFFERENT ,
What you want, you will be...
Not just by doing, but know that thoughts, words , intentions and attitude are also actions
& Whatever you do, you do to yourself, you deserve love and affection, daya for self and others
Say yes to self awareness, intentional actions ,
Pursue wealth and pleasure with right balance and actions,
Respect and enjoy your victories.
Dream a dream, Suspend the “How”
Dream a dream that truly inspires you.
A dream worthy of you.
Our instinct is to stay in the zone of safety and preservation
because beyond it is fear…
but also growth.
And how will you move to zone of potential and possibility
if you can not cross this zone of fear?
Fear of being judged or reprimanded keeps us in contractions and shrinking.
Emotions keeps us protected and safe.
But a big dream, a dream that will fully aligned with you
has the power to pull you to potential and possibility.
So will you dream a dream that you would love?
And suspend the “how”?
The Valley of Despair
We all begin our journeys with optimism.
Everything feels possible. Energy is high. Confidence is effortless.
Then reality arrives, and we move into informed pessimism.
We start seeing the challenges, the complexity, the effort required.
Slowly, many of us drift into the valley of despair.
This is the point where motivation dips, doubts grow, and you quit.
But those who continue, who moves through the valley of despair toward informed optimism, will eventually reach success and fulfilment.
This stretch – from ‘informed pessimism’ to ‘the valley of despair’-
is the most critical part of your journey.
It’s where you need support the most. And this is where coaching makes a difference.
Coaching will help you stay on your path, reflect, and move forward –
until hope returns and progress becomes visible again.
Nobody is uncoachable.
People are not uncoachable.
Sometimes they’re simply not in a coachable state.
A coachable state arrives
When you relax.
when you breathe deeply.
When someone gives you context —
and asks for your permission.
This happens everywhere.
In a boardroom. At home. Even with your children.
Because a coaching session is a conversation between the client and their deeper self.
The coach creates the conditions for that conversation to happen.
The coach is not the answer. You are.
Most people think coaching is a conversation between a coach and a client.
It’s not.
Coaching is a conversation between the client and their deeper self. And this is facilitated by the coach.
A coach doesn’t show up with advice, details, or clever answers. They show up with something far more powerful:
Mindfulness. Silence. And the ability to hold the space.
Great coaching doesn’t fill the room with words. It empties it — so the client can finally hear themselves.
Calling, What is your calling?
It’s your work or karma
It is sometimes a sense of purpose
It gives meaning and it is fulfilment
Sometimes a bold calling, it is your passion
It is sometimes something which you like to do
sometimes it is just a dream, too far
And sometimes it is a wish, a small twinkle which keeps calling you and then hides
It is aligned with your talents
It is aligned with your values
you are so deeply meant to do it
It is freedom
it is love
it is contribution
it is expansion
Follow, what follows you...
Life has put an inspiration in your heart,
there is a reason why it is there and is inspiring you,
and you have to follow it.
if not, It will follow you wherever you go.
so loosen yourself, let it flow through you,
and let it know that it will not be judged.
Afraid you are not good enough,
still do it, just do it,
Just thinking about it will dry you,
but doing it will nurture you.
Value your voice,
It will take you to something extraordinary
May be you will impact hundreds of lives
It is such an amazing gift you can give to others
Later there will be time to make it perfect.
Who are you?
What is your identity?
Mother, dancer, doctor, These are roles. Hats we wear and remove.
Kind, brave, fair, These are qualities shaped by experience.
Indian, Buddhist, single, These are contexts, not definitions.
Smart, creative, artistic, These are capacities that grow with use.
Identity is the story you tell about who you are.
It is not static. It learns and evolves.
You are not only what you were born with.
You are what you choose and what you are becoming.
When that shifts, everything else follows.
We are the hero
At the core of our existence, we are the wisest, most powerful, divine, spiritual being. We are the hero.
What stops us from being this hero is seclusion — no support, or even opposition;
confusion — lack of clarity about the goal and the capability to reach it; and
resistance — self-sabotage when the goal is not aligned with the real self.
Support those around you: help them gain clarity, strengthen their capabilities, and align with their true goals.
Which companion would you choose?
Someone can hand you a solved map.
Someone can point at the road and explain the turns and
someone can sit beside you asking the questions that can uncovers your own.
The first brings relief but borrows another’s strength.
The second offers direction, but leans on borrowed wisdom.
The third builds capacity and awaken the path within you,
which companion would you choose?
Fear is a passage
The instinct for safety and self preservation is natural.
Staying in our comfort zone is human.
Growth begins when we step gently and intentionally into fear.
Fear becomes a passage, not a barrier.
Each step creates a new zone of safety and possibility.
Courage, adventure, and playful practice become our compass, activating resistance not to stop us, but to guide us.
One step at a time, fear turns into confidence and self trust.
Meaningful listening..
True, listening happens when we hear at three levels together.
The first level is content, what the person is saying, the fact words and information being shared.
The second level is context and meaning. Here we listen for the person, there, behaviour, capabilities, values, stories, and identity. This level reveals why they are seeing what they are saying.
The third and deepest level is emotional, listening. How the person is feeling beneath the words and apathy shame, fear, desire, anger, acceptance, love, peace, Joy expanded, state of awareness.
Listening, is the foundation of any meaningful conversation.
When we listen beyond words, and into meaning and emotion, conversations become connecting and transformative.
Practising this kind of listening, enriches relationship with family, friends, colleagues, and even with ourselves.
Turn towards vision
Living inside the details of problems, circling the same stories, drama, and explanations. The mind stays busy, while the self contracts.
When we turn toward vision, meaning, identity, and intuition, something shifts.
Insights arise.
Aligned action opens space.
Possibility breathes in.
Clarity replaces noise.
And growth begins to feel natural.
I am observer of my thoughts
I am not my thoughts, I am the observer of my thoughts.
And as the observer, I have the power to notice and to choose.
I observe my thoughts …
If they scare me, I replace them with courage.
If they carry guilt, I release them and remind myself to be better.
If they bring anger, I centre myself in light and calm.
If they challenge and excite me, I hold them close, wrapping them around my finger.
If they spark curiosity, I let them lead me on an adventure.
If they bore me, I let them slip away.
If they stir gratitude, I welcome more and open my world to blessings.
If they bring kindness, I let my heart soak it in and allow it to flow through me.
if they bring me joy , I write them down and let them grow.
If they create love in my heart, I anchor them with my hand on my heart.
I am the observer of my thoughts.
And as I observe, I choose what to keep, what to release, and what to transform.
I will do later
I will do it later.
– Or maybe, one breath sooner than later.
I will change later when I am ready.
– And readiness may come quietly, even now.
I will change later as I don’t have time.
– And yet, the work I do within myself is what frees time for me.
I will change later because those unknowns are scarer than my suffering.
– Yet sometimes the unknown holds a gentler path than pain.
I will change later when I’m happy.
– But sometimes change is the doorway through which happiness enters.
I will change later because I am happy.
– And happiness, too, can be a reason to grow deeper roots.
I will change later because I suffer, but at least I have this.
– And yet, I might also have joy, ease, and new beginnings.
Let me ensure I will change later because I don’t know what to change.
– Yet not-knowing is the first light before clarity.
I will change later because I don’t know how.
– Still, each step teaches the next.
I will change later because I am this, so if I change what I will be.
– Perhaps I will be more fully myself than I have ever known.
I will change later because today I am nothing.
– Even so, one small act could be a seed.
I will change later because today I feel like doing nothing.
– And maybe in stillness, change is already happening.
Jab we met...
Dream and Action were two.
Dream was always bubbling with joy and excitement, her eyes alight with possibilities. Yet, on cloudy days, she shrank with fear and whispered, “If only I could place my feet upon Mother Earth… if only I could rest within her womb, then I could truly express myself.”
Action, meanwhile, roamed the ground—restless, determined. His steps were firm, yet his heart carried a strange déjà vu. “I’ve been here before,” he often muttered, “walking in circles, unable to move beyond. I do not know where I must go, but I know I must. I must grow, I must expand—I can become so much more.”
Then, one blessed morning, beneath a calm and golden dawn, Dream glowed with joy and Action burned with vigor. Their paths crossed.
Dream smiled, “I can lead us to wondrous places.”
Action looked at her, fire in his eyes: “And I will follow you, wherever you go.”
And in that meeting, magic awakened. Dream gave vision, Action gave movement. Together they uncovered love, created wonders, and unearthed the hidden gems of life.
And so their story begins..
All of us are meant to shine
We are not frightened by our obscure or shrouded life but our light.
“What if I do and go wrong, people won’t like me and will judge me.”
“What if I get wrong, let me wait, till I am perfect.”
“It will feel crazy in whirlwind, let me just stay where I am.”
“If I do something and I look bad, let me do nothing.”
Not just some of us but all of us are meant to shine, playing small has no joy.
When we step up to work upon our dreams and progress, not only we grow but we give permission for others to do the same.
As we liberate ourselves from fear, our presence automatically gives freedom to others.
Letters from Pushpa — a conversation designed for you.
Just thoughtful letters
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